Judgement

Just because I fall down, doesn't mean I stay there....forever. I just wallow in...in...in it and then I...I get back up. Damn it!
Just because I fret, doesn't mean I don't know what's really going on with you.
Just because I leave and then drag myself kicking and screaming back again, doesn't mean I knew why I left in the first place.
Just because you know me, doesn't mean you know me.
Just because you love me and would do anything for me, doesn't mean you get to encourage my self destruction.
Just because you think I don't know, doesn't give you the right to hurt me.
Just because I know me, doesn't mean I know me.
Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening.

The Most Dreaded Six Letter Word

Cancer. I am so sick of that word and everything that comes with it. My heart is heavy everytime I hear it. It seems as though everyone is getting it-like getting a cold that never lets up.

Something we own and want to get rid of? Well, kind of. Like clutter in your life that seems to find a permanent home right on your path. Is cancer a part of us? Definitely.

Even my sweet Kria has it. It's a very invasive nerve sheath tumor. An operation is out of the question. We are giving her pain meds -that we most times have to force down her throat-just to make her more comfortable in hopes that the pain is less noticable to her while the cancer takes her life. A life? Up until recently has been a happy, active dog.

I remember when I first saw Kria. She had pink bubble gum stuck underneath her mouth and was crawling out from under an old, beat-up car. My brother told me about her and my parents said I could have her, but that she was my responsibility. Now after eleven years, moving with me 8 times, lots of laughs, running, great protection and service (scaring solicitors away from the door and creepy guys when out and about), and wonderful vacations, she is a better companion than I could have ever imagined.